Wacky Kids

I have to believe that all the earths rumblings and weird weather are affecting (or effecting) the behavior of my kids. Not all of them but some of the more sensitive ones. We had some pretty extreme emotions this week, good and bad. We are pretty extreme as a family, doing most things with gusto. But this week was exceptional. At first I thought it was the allergies rearing their ugly heads, but after much research and examination, that was not it. Maybe it was the moon. I don't know what it was to be honest, I just know that I had some wacky kids this week.

weight update

yeah!!! wk 1 day 4 got on the scale at the Y and down 4 lbs....woo hoo.... still want cheesecake though^.^

Submission

I can't even tell you how long I have been working on the submission thing. When God told Eve she was going to have some problems of her own after cursing all of mankind, He was not kidding! I've had control issues all my life. It has caused me to be rebellious even if it has been displayed as passive aggressiveness. I am getting better and am learning to allow myself to" just let it go". ..but other people sure make that hard! I guess I am not the only one who knows best ^.^ and I must remember that if I don't want to be in charge, I need to let others who do, do their thing and not complain. It's the not complain thing that I am working on.

Waiting for God's timing has been hard, I usually want what I want yesterday. But in God's infinite wisdom and with His great sense of humor, He has continually put me in situations that stretch me. He has made sure that I allow others to have the same joy from serving me as I have for serving others. He has made sure that I am grateful for the gifts He has given me by making me wait for them. He has also made sure that I am prepared clear to my heart before blessing me with His gifts.

Submitting to earthly authority has been a bit challenging too. I have no problem following rules and laws. That isn't what I mean. I mean people that have charge over me personally. Parents, Leaders, Teachers.... the like. I seldom act out openly, but boy can I drag my feet and grumble. Especially if I think they are wrong and I have no power to change anything. I work daily to be respectful of others opinions and seek wisdom in letting others experiences help me.

My sweetheart and I once attended a conference where the submission word was taught. Man I had trouble with that early on in our marriage. I was just as good as any man! The couple teaching was amazing. They talked about who they were in submission to and how that worked in their marriage. They broke the word down into two parts...sub and mission. Sub meaning under and mission meaning plan. It wasn't about giving up my will , but trusting that my man had my best interest at heart. He in return trusted that I would not harm that mission and respected me and my opinion. He doesn't control me and I don't control him. We are a team and he is the head coach and I am the assistant. Our mission as a couple has been clearly defined by us. We have talked about it and planned what we want for our lives together. We both agree what that mission is. We both also trust that the other would only do and lead us toward the goal of that mission. So being in submission to my sweetheart is the one place I don't struggle anymore. I trust him . (Wow, I just realized that I have trust issues with God. Hmmm must ponder that.)

Today will be better than yesterday, I will stop complaining about what I have no control over and be happy that God is in charge and His will is what is best for me and the ones I love.

So....

So....as you may have seen in my last blog, I am on a diet. I'm not going to call it anything else because the word "die" is in it, please people, get a grip. If you need to be on a diet, it really doesn't matter what you call it, it is hard work and usually not fun but necessary. I'm using a system, I know it will work, it doesn't mean I have to like it. I like food that is fattening, hence my current size. I like rich, carb loaded foods. So no matter what, I'm not going to like vegetables, I just have to live with them, kinda like zits. Yes, they are that appealing to me.

So....why am I on a diet this time? Couple of reasons. One is that I may need to fly to my dear mommy's house to help her out. Fat people and airplanes don't mix. Seats aren't made for people much bigger than a size 14, and I am way past that. The last time I went down to help her out, I was miserable and so was the poor guy next to me. And my pride will not let me buy two seats.

So....the other reason is I need to be able to do more with my kids. I want to get on the roller coasters with them. I want to go on long hikes with them without my joints going ballistic. I want to be able to sit comfortably in the backseat of the car if I need to. I want to go bike riding with them and not worry about being able to get the seat out of where it isn't supposed to be. I want to hold them in my lap even when they are growing up.

So....it would probably be good if I was doing it for my health or for myself, but who am I kidding. If that was why I was doing this, I wouldn't be the size I am. But I guess it will be a serendipity of dieting. And I'll get new clothes, that's kinda cool. And my sweetheart will be able to wrap his arms all the way around me.

So....I am grumpily on a diet, doing what I have to do to get what I want to have. Doesn't mean I have to like, just have to do it.

Warning!

Woe to the family of the woman who has high hormones and is on a diet!!! Nough said!

A Day Worth Remembering

Today has been full of emotions for me. Now, I am pondering my life and what I want the second half to look like. I've been experiencing crotchety-ness the last couple of weeks, tired of playing games with people who are not kind and tired of being questioned for the things I do. Plain out angry that people in general don't look out for others and are very selfish (which makes me feel like being selfish too). Then I had today.

I woke up with a call from my dear mom in law who needed a ride to her doctors appointment today. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I am not a morning person. At all. But she is past 80 and is just now needing help so I set the kidos to tasks and head on down the road. While driving her in her car, she tells me stories and shares the things going on in her life and I smile as she tells me to slow down and to take this turn and that.

Her husband was prior military and so we were at the army medical center. I had one of my dear children in this hospital many moons ago. It hasn't changed a bit. It was comfortable being around all the soldiers and their families walking the halls. As I waited for her to come out of her appointment, I saw a few things that made me smile

In the area she was in there were a lot of old retired soldiers. They almost all wore black baseball caps with pins and patches depicting their branch of service, the units they served and the conflicts they were in. I over heard more than one conversation that started "where were you during..." This generation is very different from mine. They were all dressed up to go to the doctor. Slacks, jackets and not a sneaker to be seen. For the most part they were all happy.

There were two couples that made me feel deeply though. One couple had the wife in a wheelchair who obviously had some amount of dementia happening. The tenderness and love her husband had for her as he buttoned her sweater for her and held her hand was amazing. The love was palatable. The other couple were the most outgoing people I have seen in a long time. The lady was German and had a lovely accent. Her husband was tall and distinguished looking. I could see that they would have been a great looking couple in their day. She smiled and talked to everyone around her. When the person she was talking to would get up for their appointment she would say to her husband, "that was a nice person". He would nod and agree. How could anyone not be nice to such a sweet smile and happy disposition.

Then later in the day, I got word that a dear man that we have known for 18 years had passed away last night. How my heart broke. This man was an amazing person. I have heard his life story many times and am always amazed by his great wisdom. He gave of himself like no one else I have ever known. He raised a beautiful family that has carried on his love of others, that are passionate about life and helping others. I can't even imagine the grief they are experiencing right now. His leadership has touched my family very profoundly, more than any church we have attended in the last 18 years. I will miss him very much.

I don't want to be the crotchety old lady who yelled at the kids to get out of her yard. I don't want to be another name in an obituary remembered for liking crossword puzzles. I want to be the person who touched others profoundly, who helped them to be better than they were before they met me, not because I taught them patience and endurance, but because I loved them deeply. I want to be the smiling old lady who sees the niceness in others and brings that out in others. I pray that God allows me to remember this day the next time I feel fed up with the world.

A Movie Review

We took the family to go see Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief yesterday for the birthday kids. Going to the movies is quite the big deal at our house. We don't go often because it so darn expensive! Even the matinee was over $80 for us! Now I know why movies gross so much. No popcorn for this crew, that would mean we couldn't get dinner after.

The movie was okay. That's all, just okay. Makes me wish we had waited for the dvd. If we hadn't loved the books SSSSSOOOOO much, maybe it would have been better, but then again, maybe not. The acting was pretty bad and the changed story line was pretty shallow. They definitely spent all their budget on special effects which were pretty loud but not all that convincing. Maybe that was the acting, I don't know. I liked the hydra and Percy's water powers, but that was it. The only actor choices I really liked were for Grover and for Luke. The rest were not what we pictured or was even described. Liam Neason would have been a much better Poseidon . And don't get me started on Annabeth. She must have been someones daughter. The story is vaguely the same as the book, but far enough from it to be a different story.

So if you have read the books, don't go, wait for the dvd. If you haven't read the books, I would be interested in your opinion of the movie. If you haven't read the books, READ THEM! We listened to them on cd from the library. The whole family sat around the living room like in the time before tv but after radio. We even had to wait for my sweetheart to come home from work because he didn't want to miss anything. The stories are a great way to learn Greek mythology in a modern adventure.

Another birth story

So here's another birth story, but this isn't a conventional one. It is the birth of our marriage and the birth of our family.

My sweet heart and I have known each other for 28 years. Wow! We dated when I was younger and then remained friends for years. During that time, he had a son and a very rocky relationship with the babies mother. Two years later I get to meet the little guy while visiting to attend a mutual friends wedding. What a cutie patutie! We went to the Seattle Center and hung out at all the attractions all day. We had a great time.

Two years later, my sweetheart is driving home from Texas to Washington and stops in Oregon to say hi. The minute he walked through the door, I knew we were getting married. It took him two more months to figure it out ^.^ He had just won primary custody of his cutie patutie and that little guy said to him, "Dad, we need a mommy." "Who do you have in mind?" This could have been bad for me if he had said his mom but instead he said "How about that Rebecca lady?" That was the deal cincher.

We had already started falling madly in love and spending hundreds and hundreds on long distance phone bills (remember those?) and gas driving back and forth between states. My sweetheart figured out what I already knew and drove down on Valentines day and stopped at my Daddy's office and asked for my hand. After Daddy gave permission, he came to where I was working and proposed. Now there are a lot more details than that, but that is the gist of things.

We were married the next July. We had 2 weeks together and the Cutie Patutie moved in. Almost immediately, he asked if he could call me mom. My heart swelled and it has been a family ever since.

That young man is going to be 24 this weekend. I can't even imagine my life with out either of these tw0 men.

Bragging Rights

Birthing stories are a mom's way of bragging. "Look what I went through so that I could be a mom, aren't I tough!" I am always amazed by how different every one's stories are, from the "I pushed twice and out they came" to the " I was in hard labor for 10 days and still got up and made breakfast the next day." I am also amazed by how different all my birth stories are. And since it it one of my sweet kido's birthdays today, I am telling hers.

There is a little pre-birth information that is pertinent here. This little one was the first child to be born after the trauma of giving birth to twins that were born 16 weeks early. She was a blessing from God (which means she was a surprise ^.^) conceived one year after that experience which made a 19 month spread between babies. The entire pregnancy was one moment of fear to the next. I did not want another preemie baby so every twinge was terror. So by the time we got to her birth date, I was relieved. This pregnancy was also the 2nd after a c-section. The twins were so small it didn't come into play, but this baby was supposed to be a 10lb-er and the doc was a little nervous (which he didn't tell me til after the big moment). We went in at 7am and was induced because they didn't want her to get much bigger and went into labor almost immediately. The guy who put in the epidural was really good and got it in in one shot and it did just what it was supposed to do. I don't like pain of any sort so going natural was totally out. Then we started pushing. I say we because this baby was a team effort. My sweetheart worked as hard as I did on this one. We pushed and pushed and this child would not come out. We tried every position possible to get this kid out. So lunch comes and goes and so does my modesty. I no longer cared who came in and out and what state of ugliness I was in. I just wanted to get her out. By that time the doc was talking c-section again and I was not interested. Finally he took a look, saw her and got out the suction cup. The little bugger had gotten her head stuck on my pubic bone. The doc dislodged her and out she squirted. I know all babies, especially your own are supposed to be cute. But this kid was uuuugly. She had been stuck for so long that her face was all swollen up and the suction had caused a cone head thing and my sweetheart and I looked at each other and said "isn't she beautiful." Now after all the life we had gone through together we both knew we were lying. But we loved her so much anyway. So after they cleaned her up and did all their little tests, they brought her back, 8 and a half pounds of her, and already the swelling was going down. She truly was going to be a beauty. She had dark brown eyes, black wavy hair and chocolate brown skin. Minute by minute, she became more and more lovely. And we still loved her as much as we did the first time we saw her.

She has grown up to be such a wonderful young lady. She is full of compassion and joy and the love of God. And she is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. I am very proud of my sweet girl.

Respecting your elders...

Respecting your elders. I often hear that respect is something that has to be earned. I think that is honor, not respect. As I interact more and more with the younger generations, I think that respect is what is missing most. It started with not calling adults by their titles...Mrs. A was ok, then Ms. Rebecca was ok, now, calling anyone by their first name is ok. (I think that started with the boomers not wanting to get old.) If you call someone by their first name, it puts that person at the same level as yourself. I'm sorry, but there is a different type of respect an 80 year old deserves over an 8 year old. Children are valuable. Their ideas and thoughts are often profound, trust me, after 6 I know this. I understand that not all 80 year olds are wise. But I'm not talking about value, I'm talking about respect. I value my children more than anyone besides my husband. I insist they respect their elders by treating them well.

All my growing up life, I had to call people by their titles, that was a hard set rule. My self esteem didn't suffer. I still found value in myself and felt valued. I was not asked to be seen and not heard, just that I might learn something from someone who had experienced more if I listened first. I had to let people older than myself go first. I had to let people older than myself sit down first, I had to give them my seat if there were no more. I wasn't allowed to interrupt conversations.

I still have problems calling people much older than myself by their first names. Friends of my parents and in-laws will always be Mr. and Mrs. I owe them that respect for just living longer than me. Some of them I honor because I love them. People acting in authority get called sir and ma'am, because I respect the office, I don't honor them if their actions are wrong. I respect every ones right to their opinions, but I don't have to agree with them.

So here is what I teach my children. You call people by their title and their last name, if they insist you call them by their first name, put the title before the first name. Don't interrupt conversations between adults. If you need something or have something to add, put your hand on my arm and I will acknowledge you at a point that is not disruptive. If there is an older person in the room, be careful around them. Pay attention to what they say. If what they tell you goes against our rules, tell me and I will take care of it. People older than you go first. Respect other people by using your manners. We serve older people by asking "is there anything I can do for you". Do they always remember these rules, no! But it is something that we work on ALL the time. I think it is Biblical to respect your elders.

Inspiration

I was at the YMCA yesterday, sitting in the big jet spa, working on my aching joints when I saw the most beautiful thing. There was a couple there that were helping each other with their aches and pains. First she worked on his legs as he kinda laid in the pool with his legs in her lap. Then she got up on the edge and he worked on her ankles and feet. They looked at each other with such love and appreciation. They both expressed great thanks to each other when they were done. Then he got out and she stood up and he walked her to the ladies locker room, not touching but smiling and talking in low tones. Then he went to his locker room and left me staring in awe. I want my marriage to be like that. He isn't a day under 75 and she was pretty close and there was so much admiration between the two. You could see their love in every move and with every glance. I am blessed with a beautiful marriage and a man who loves me. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him. I look forward to spending all the days of my life with him. This couple was such a beautiful inspiration.

That's Just Doozie

I went to the hairdressers this last week. Is that the politically correct term? Any how, it is amazing how a fresh new doo will lift your spirits. The lady that I've been going to is totally awesome and does such a fantastic job! I hated it when I would go someplace and they would do my hair and I would look like a little old lady from the 70's when I left. Would they go out looking like that? Then I would have to go straight home and "fix" it before anyone saw. The last person who did my hair was pretty good except I always came home with the same hairstyle she had. That was fine until she cut her hair way short and I didn't want that look so I canceled my next appointment. With this new lady, I go as long as I can before I wash it because it always looks so good when she is done. I feel a foot taller, 10lbs lighter and absolutely gorgeous. The shop is called That's Just Doozie and is located in University Place. Bobbi, the lady with the magic scissors, is so sweet and has the most calming voice, I enjoy spending time with her. I did my hair myself today and it still looks pretty darn good. I love my fresh new doo!