An ongoing list

Few of the thoughts that have crossed my mind the last couple of days:
New hair brings confidence
Mine are not the only wild children
Homeschool teens are so much more together than I ever was at the same age
Talent needs to be nurtured
Worship means different things to different people
Even here, we aren't mainstream
God reveals Himself in many ways and through many people
That voice in my head that speaks to me when I pray really is Him and I should really trust Him more
Homeschooling is really a blessing in my life and the lives of my children
Driving in the snow is scary
Driving on ice is scarier
I really wish my sweetheart was free to be here with me to enjoy our gifted children
Speech has been so worth it

Fear

Fear can be a motivating factor in my life. Not the scary there's a bad guy in the house ready to kill me kind of fear. That is something I haven't had to deal with. And not the kind of fear that let's you deliver your own baby, that isn't good either. No, I'm talking about the fear of failure. When you set goals for yourself that have real consequences, and you're getting close to a deadline and you're not quite there. Yup, that what has been happening around here.

I have had a few goals that I have set for myself. First was to get my customer base built up and to qualify for a Chat to Chat that one of my mentors has set up. I was getting pretty close to not making it when a great friend put an order in that sent me way over. Thank you God for the perfect timing. Even though I have made that goal, I have set a goal to do it again but double for next month. Not only is it a nice bit of money to put in my "love you" account, but it sets a good example for those that are allowing me to mentor them.

I also had a goal of getting my house presentable by next Monday, when we are expecting about 50 people to come into my little piece of paradise (snicker, snicker). Well, that has been a bit stressful. Normally, I don't let the little things bother me. I can see them, but they just aren't that big a deal for me. But with lots of eyes looking, I really wanted to spiffy it up a bit. Then there was leak under the sink and the entire vanity had to be replaced. And we are still playing bedroom switcheroo and so there are 'things' everywhere. So just when one place gets close to looking good, then something else expands. Today is the first time I could see that we are going to make it. Oh yeah, did I mention that we were going to be doing a speech competition for 3 days this week and are spending an afternoon at the hair salon and still have to get mom in law to dialysis. I will all get done, I have faith in my family.

And then there was the big thing, that which means the most of all. I needed to get some of those fifty people invited to meet a friend of mine who is working to help us get free of the job. He has so much faith in us and I really don't want to disappoint him. My daughter has also started to work on developing a business of her own and was experiencing a bit of anxiety. So I had to set an example for her and call some people. After I had done a call, she did a one, and then I did a couple more. It was pretty exciting. I still have a few more to calls to make, but knowing she is watching me, makes it even more important to do. I fear disappointing her and my sweetheart, and my friend. It makes me step beyond my comfort zone and do the hard things.

p.s. And on top of it all it is supposed to snow...a lot...yeah, that's not good.

Enigma

Valentines Day is a bit of an enigma for me. See, since I started learning more and more about the background of different holidays, I have been convicted not celebrate a bunch of them. Anything that has the word Saint in front of it is pretty much a no go. It says in the Bible that the only way to the Father is through the Son. No saint can intercede for me. If they could, then why would God have had to given His only Son?

The challenge comes because this in an anniversary for me. It was on this day, 20 years ago, that my sweetheart asked me to marry him.

We had been friends for years and years. He was on his way to get custody of his son and stopped by my house on the way to say hi. I knew the minute he walked in the door that we were going to get married ^.^ That was in December. It took him another 2 months and $600 in phone bills to figure it out. The cincher was my son telling him that the two of them needed a mom. When my sweetheart asked who he had in mind, he said how about that Rebecca lady.

So he got all dressed up in his dress uniform, hopped in his little car and drove to my dad's office and got his permission, then to my job, which was at a day care, and asked me to marry him. We were married in July and I still wear that ring that he gave me.

I am blessed on this day with the memory of my sweetheart heart and his son choosing to include me in their little family. Celebrating it on this day is my enigma.

p.s. My students wanted to know why the police were coming to see me. Not a lot of army guys hanging out in Eugene I guess.

A New Hero

When mom in law went into the hospital back in September, she had many room mates. One of the ladies has since become a dear friend. She started dialysis the same time and they have been chair neighbors since October. She and her husband are two of the kindest people I have ever met. They are positive and always look for the brighter side of everything.

We have also discovered we have a few things in common. They too are University of Oregon Ducks, although they are bigger sports fans than I am. They like to eat good food and have given me many ideas for places to go eat. But best of all, I found out they are Trekkies.

They make the annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas and do the big convention down there. He took the time one day and shared with me about his collection of signed photographs and other memorabilia. When I shared with my kids, he became one very cool guy. I shared with him about my kids and the USS Dreammaker. He thought that was pretty cool. They even sent one of their home made communicators to him.

Today he became one of the heroes of my kidos. He sent home a variety of signed 8x10's of cast members of different Star Trek series. He then said that they could each have one! There was much giggling and bouncing and screaming when the kids saw what he had sent. The choices they made were pretty interesting. I have to say that it was hard to keep my mouth shut and let them pick, cuz I sure had my favorites.

p.s. It was pretty funny when my camera asked if anyone blinked....no those are his artificial eyes!!

All in the Eyes of the Beholder

We are lucky enough to have in our local area a Habitat for Humanity outlet store. They sell all the things that are donated to Habitat but can't be used or they have a surplus of. So when I need something home-ish, and it cost a bit of money, I usually start there. This week we went looking for a new front screen door. After I found what I was looking for, we had some time to kill and so we wandered around.

Now if you found this sconce:

you might think it was not worth the three dollars they were asking for it.

And if you saw a box full of these:

You might wonder what you would do when none of them really matched.

But if you were my steampunklets and you saw these things, you would see this:

Yup, a steam punk gun.

And then you might see this pile of misc. knobs and handles as all the parts that make this gun work.

I'll be sure to post pics when they are done.

p.s. When I got the door home I realized that I should have measured it first. Any one need a brand new 30x80 in screen door?

Insanity

Oh the insanity of it all. Well it probably isn't all that. But maybe a little.

There is a lot happening around here.

Mom in law has her surgery this week. This will create a fistula in her arm. They will take a vein and an artery and sew them together making a loop. After a few months they will be able to use this site to do her dialysis and take the port out of her chest. Much safer and much more convenient. And then she will be able to take a full shower. Right now she can't get the port wet.

My big girl is becoming more and more independent and we are seeing less and less of her it seems. She is out and about with friends and searching for work since she isn't really interested in going to college right now. It is strange watching my fledgling fly.

The new room is finally starting to look like a room. The walls are all up and the primer is on. We are getting the real color today and then we can start putting things where they belong. I might be getting my house to look normal here pretty soon! And since the walls are up, I can start putting things where they belong on my side of the wall. I'm having fun trying to figure it all out. Soon there will be space to build this:

that I found here http://ana-white.com/2010/09/and-the-craft-table-too.html . Well sort of like that. Mine is going to use some shelves I already have and not be as wide. And the inside part will be bins to store onions and potatoes. That's the plan any way.

Speech club is starting to go to the qualifying rounds and that means really polishing up what we are doing. And we are still trying to find something that will work for interpretive duo that hasn't been done to death already.

My daughter is out of her cast and is starting to walk like a normal person almost. We get to visit the doctor this week and go from the walking boot to a brace. Another chance to spend copay money.

We are having an important guest coming at the end of the month and my house really needs to get really clean. I may actually breakdown and hire someone. I'm going to hire out the yard work. And I need a new front screen door.

And I need a new windshield. And to adjust my insurance now that I actually own my car (YAY!)

But the most important thing to do is get started on my taxes. I hate doing taxes. Really, really, really hate doing my taxes. That flat tax thing that people not in the government talk about is really appealing to me just so I won't have to file a schedule C for anything. Yeah, well it's a nice dream anyway.

And there are 2 birthdays this month.

Yup, all in all, insanity.

p.s. I just read that you are only supposed to space once after a period. This has really messed with my head.