The dining room table

Three years ago around Passover time we had a table. It had been part of the family for about 15 years. Not bad for a cheep piece of furniture. The chairs had all died years ago, but the table was still with us. It only sat six, and tight at that. And if you had six, you couldn't put any food on the table. Once a month we had to go underneath and tighten all the screw so it wouldn't wobble and squeak. But it did its job. Til one day, after being a support for Cirque de My Kidos, it broke. Two legs just plain cracked off. Splinters of wood went everywhere.
Now what made that so tragic is that I had invited two other families over for a Passover Seder. As it was, seating was going to be interesting, but now I had a dilemma. I had wanted a new table for years, but couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. I didn't want to spend the money on anything but the perfect table. So I went shopping, hitting every furniture store in the area. Nothing was priced right or was sturdy enough for my family. Just as I was ready to go get a bunch of Costco folding tables, I found it. As I was pumping gas, I saw a store I had never noticed before and there in the window, on sale yet, was the perfect table. It sits ten comfortably. There is plenty of room for food on the table. The only bad thing is the chairs seats are fabric and with my crew, didn't take long to get dirty.
It has been a great blessing. Now that we have a table that fits us all, we all eat meals together a lot more often. There are lots of studies saying how good this is for kids and families. I know for us, it is a great time to be together. We get to entertain a bit more. This Thanksgiving was a perfect example.
My oldest came with mom in law and announced once he was here (a half hour before dinner) that his brother was going to be joining us. Mike had spent a lot of time with us when he was younger and is a part of our family too. All I did was add another setting to the table, there was plenty of room. There is always plenty of food around here, so that wasn't a problem either. It was wonderful having all of my little family here. Watching them laugh and share and eat around my table is a total blessing. Thank You God for an awesome family, a holiday to come together and bless You, joy and happiness, a full heart, and a table big enough for us all.

My Car Accident

There I was, no lie, one wheel dangling over the edge and the back tire not able to get any traction. No matter how much I rocked the car I couldn't get down. I even put it in 4L and still we were stuck. Yes, I had all five in the car with me at the time. How I got up there, I have no idea. I still can't figure out how it happened, and no, I wasn't on my phone, it was tucked in my purse safe and sound.

It was apparently a pretty good shake up, cuz later I found all the things in my center counsel spilled all over the floor and the kids yelled a bit. I kept thinking to myself, what in the world happened, how come I can't go.

Well, I had to get out and see what was going on. Yup, I was stuck. A nice man came and he tried everything I did to get it out. Another nice guy with a forklift came and pulled some of the rocks out, but I was still stuck up in the air. I had all the kids climb out and go sit in a safe warm building while I stood in the rain with my cute but not so warm coat and called the insurance people. They would have a tow truck out in 20 min.

In the mean time all the guys keeping telling me I'm not the first one to do this. All the people driving by are gawking and wondering how in the world did she do that? Yup pretty embarrassing.

The tow truck guy shows up and says "Wow, but don't worry I can get it down." After four calls to his boss and me signing a note saying that they weren't responsible to any damage caused by them pushing against my front bumper, the forklift guy comes out again. "If you can get it higher in the air, I can pull out the last of the rocks and she should be fine." So up in the air the truck went and out came the rocks and down came the truck no damage!! God is so good to me. The tow truck guy pulled the truck the rest of the way, commenting on how good my torque was (that made my sweetheart proud) and off I went.

The truck drives mostly fine. The alignment is off and there is a rumbling that I need my mechanic to check out. The kids are all bragging on how they all survived my accident. My neck and back are pretty stiff and I had a huge adrenalin drop once I got home. But all in all, we are good.

Sounds pretty dramatic and would have been a better call to my sweetheart if it hadn't been in the parking lot of a warehouse. The median had a huge pile of rocks in it and there I was, dangling a foot and a half in the air. How embarrassing.

Joy in the Moment

Finding joy in the moment.

With my life full of upheaval, I am working hard to find joy in the moment.

Walking into the house after being out on the road in the dark and the rain to hear my girl yelling spicy eyes, spicy eyes was funny. She was chopping onions.

Listening to my daughter scream and giggle while reuniting with a friend after two weeks apart was a sweet joyful moment.

Big sloppy hugs from my 13 year old son was refreshing.

The gleam in my sweethearts eyes even when I look like a wet cat makes me smile.

The soldier sitting in the waiting room who smiled and said thanks for talking with me, filled my heart.

The smile of the lady across the way who was genuinely happy to see me was touching.

The smell of the pumpkin bread that my daughter made all by herself and that was just as tasty as it smelled was a huge blessing.

Hugging my mommy as we cried over the loss of a dear family member was bitter sweet.

Seeing the sun rise over the mountian on dialysis mornings is amazing.

The realization that God is with me all the time...again...and that only through Him will I find peace is satisfying.

adventures in lawn mowing

We had a beautiful day today in the PNW. I had the kids go out and do some yard work in the sunshine. The girls raked the pine needles and leaves as Josh mowed. I was sitting by the front door in the house resting after being with mom in law all day.

I was watching Josh and then I heard the sound of the lawnmower eating something. The girls were all in the back yard so I knew it wasn't them. But I also knew it was something because of the sounds and face he was making. I thought a squirrel or cat or maybe a frog. It took a couple of seconds for him to let go of the mower and he was making these big gaspy sounds. He came in and leaned his head on the door frame...gaspy, gaspy...head on door...gaspy, gaspy...head on back of sofa...gaspy, gaspy.

Sarah pops in "What happened?"

"Is there blood all over the front lawn?" asks Mom.

"No," answers Sarah.

"Gaspy, gaspy! " says Josh.

"What did he hit?" asks Mom.

"He made metal!" says Sarah.

"Joshua, god of aluminum!" cheers Emily.

So here's what happened. He was trying to use the mower like a weed eater and hit the stone under the drain pipe and created sparks. It also left a mark on the stone. His father had told him to be careful not to hit rocks with the mower because it could start a fire. We had just watched a video on the race to space and all the blowing up rockets. Josh saw his life flash before his eyes.

We thought it was pretty funny. He does now.

Rollercoaster

I'm starting to think there is no such thing as normal anymore. I'm thinking we are just going to have to live on a rollercoaster. Thing is rollercoasters can be really fun. There are the long anticipating parts that are just all work and waiting and then there are the steep turns and loopdy doops that go fast but have you screaming with joy! Well here we go on the long anticipating part.

We have had some little up and downy parts that make life interesting. Like, Mom's sugar and blood pressure are under control and she is doing well with dialysis, but now she has gout. Which hurts a lot and makes her grumpy. But incase you were wondering, she is doing much better and starting to get back to her old self. Please keep praying for her, that her kidney functions continue to improve and that her spirits stay up. It can be depressing to go from totally independent to mostly dependent.

My kids are AMAZING!!! Have I said that before? They are doing so well, schooling themselves and helping their sibs out. The house is always mostly clean or real close to it. They are so dang funny, they make me smile everday. It is fun having mature humor, not "mommy why do ducks quack?>>>Because the orange is moldy.....hahahahahah" Yeah, don't miss the weird joke phase.

I see them becoming more independent, and I'm happy for that, yet a little sad too. But mostly happy.

And other decisions and commitments have been made that are going to be exciting, more on that later. Just know that having sick family without financial freedom sucks! We can moan or we can do something about it. After being smacked in the head by God and a dear friend, we are doing something about it. This feels like the first part of the downy part of a rollercoaster, where your stomach first comes up in your throat and you know it is going to be fun, and your mouth is open to scream but the sound hasn't quite made its way out yet, but your arms are up in the air ready for the ride of your life. Yeah, that's where I am.

Good Weekend

The last week was as busy as I thought it was going to be. Getting up at 5:30 am is not my idea of fun. I sure am praying that those kidneys kick in. I've never been so excited to hear about a grown woman peeing ^.^. But it is back to dialysis in the morning.

I did get the weekend off. It allowed me to spend some special time with a dear friend. I helped, with a myriad of her friends from all walks of her life, to honor her mother at a memorial service. It is easy to see where she got her kindness and sense of duty. It sounds like she is the spitting image of her mom who will be missed by many.

It made me think a bit too. Not only about how much I love my own mommy and dread the day that the Lord takes her, may it be years and years from now, but also what kind of legacy will I be leaving for my children. With my mom in law I have learned that I need to get rid of a bunch of my junk and be more organized. Trying to find things isn't always easy. She is a pack rat. So am I. Different stuff, but still a pack rat. I hope that I am teaching my children to be strong and compassionate and to do what is pleasing to the Lord.

I also got the chance to do some sewing. I bought a second sewing machine last weekend. On sale of course. It sews like a dream. I was able to finish the girls layered skirts by zig zagging all the layers and making another skirt from a pair of old jeans. It came out pretty cute too, even if it isn't what I envisioned when I started. I've seen a lot of things on different blogs that I want to sew. I have found it very satisfying to sew lately. I think it is because I can see a finished product. With all that is in flux around here, it is good to see something done.

Cleaning the Toilet

Self image is a funny thing. It is influenced by so many things and people. I know in many ways, mine is better than it was growing up. I had always felt and was told how fat I was and that I should only wear my hair a certain way or wear certain styles of clothes. I have always been a little clumsy, okay, a lot clumsy and laughed at a lot and so I didn't do a lot of things because of that. As I have gotten older, I don't have as many influences on my self image. My sweetheart loves me so thoroughly that I actually have more confidence than ever before. As I have become closer to God, I see myself more clearly. My latest challenge though has to do with serving dear mom in law. I am doing it. But I don't like it. At all. I whine about it all the time. I am being told how awesome I am by my supporters and I don't feel like I am. It is a job. Like cleaning the toilet. I don't do it to bless anyone or because I do it as unto the Lord or I am called to it or anything noble like that. I'm doing it cuz the toilet is dirty and needs to be done. It is my job. If someone else would do my job, I would let them gladly! But just like the toilet, the only other one to do it is my sweetheart, and he just isn't always available. And just like the toilet, I am training my kidos to do it, but they just don't always get it right. And unlike the toilet, I can't just ignore it til company comes. So, I know what I'm doing is a good thing, and I am working on my attitude about it, but I sure don't feel awesome.