Cleaning the Toilet

Self image is a funny thing. It is influenced by so many things and people. I know in many ways, mine is better than it was growing up. I had always felt and was told how fat I was and that I should only wear my hair a certain way or wear certain styles of clothes. I have always been a little clumsy, okay, a lot clumsy and laughed at a lot and so I didn't do a lot of things because of that. As I have gotten older, I don't have as many influences on my self image. My sweetheart loves me so thoroughly that I actually have more confidence than ever before. As I have become closer to God, I see myself more clearly. My latest challenge though has to do with serving dear mom in law. I am doing it. But I don't like it. At all. I whine about it all the time. I am being told how awesome I am by my supporters and I don't feel like I am. It is a job. Like cleaning the toilet. I don't do it to bless anyone or because I do it as unto the Lord or I am called to it or anything noble like that. I'm doing it cuz the toilet is dirty and needs to be done. It is my job. If someone else would do my job, I would let them gladly! But just like the toilet, the only other one to do it is my sweetheart, and he just isn't always available. And just like the toilet, I am training my kidos to do it, but they just don't always get it right. And unlike the toilet, I can't just ignore it til company comes. So, I know what I'm doing is a good thing, and I am working on my attitude about it, but I sure don't feel awesome.