Happy Holidays

Holiday season in upon us and man am I struggling. This is usually my favorite time of year. Everyone is happy, there are presents and decorations, good food and baking, a break from formal school classes, all good things. This season is a little different for me.
This season I lost my dearest Grandma. I was able to go California and be with her in her last days. I took the whole family with me and they were able to spend time with the cousins and play tourist a bit while I was in the hospital with Grandma. I am so very grateful I had that time with her.
This season we also lost Mrs. D. She is one of the ladies in the Widows Club that we have been watching over for the last ten years. She was a great grandma to my kids. In fact, the two great ladies died the same night. It was an emotional time to be sure.
Throw in a trip to Portland for a conference and a our first speech competition and all that entails, along with the regular schedule stuff and things just aren't that cheery around here. Let alone clean. The clutter is under control in the rooms people see but I just need to do a good deep clean and purge to make it right. (The only time I want to deep clean is when I'm sad or mad or my mom is coming ^.^)
We took the kid's school work with us everywhere, but there was just too much living to do and not one book got cracked. There was still learning going on, more of the unschooling variety than what we usually do. So now the kids are all out of the swing of things and getting them to do anything schoolish is like trying to herd turtles, nothing is moving. So now I have mom guilt cuz they are behind where I would like them to be. I know since we are homeschoolers, that doesn't really matter, but it sorta does in my head. I am therefor having a hard time justifying a break.
And on top of that, I'm bored with my Chanukah decorations but am unwilling to spend money right now on new stuff. I need to save up for two big trips for speech. And a Thule container for the top of the truck for all the trips we need to be making. And a Bat Mitzvah.
Oh yeah, the Bat Mitzvah! It's coming along, but I do need to get going on invitations. And stuff for the ice cream social we are having after. And helping her make her dress. And finishing the few things left on her list. And the list of who is getting invitations. Oh yeah, that.
So yeah, not so much cheer for me this year. Thankfully the kidos aren't having the same challenge. A friend once told me that when we get into these periods of change and stress, it is only for a season. I try to keep that in my head. I wish is wasn't the same season as the holiday season. But oh well. We will make it through, and just swirl in the whirlwind that is our lives right now.