Respecting your elders...

Respecting your elders. I often hear that respect is something that has to be earned. I think that is honor, not respect. As I interact more and more with the younger generations, I think that respect is what is missing most. It started with not calling adults by their titles...Mrs. A was ok, then Ms. Rebecca was ok, now, calling anyone by their first name is ok. (I think that started with the boomers not wanting to get old.) If you call someone by their first name, it puts that person at the same level as yourself. I'm sorry, but there is a different type of respect an 80 year old deserves over an 8 year old. Children are valuable. Their ideas and thoughts are often profound, trust me, after 6 I know this. I understand that not all 80 year olds are wise. But I'm not talking about value, I'm talking about respect. I value my children more than anyone besides my husband. I insist they respect their elders by treating them well.

All my growing up life, I had to call people by their titles, that was a hard set rule. My self esteem didn't suffer. I still found value in myself and felt valued. I was not asked to be seen and not heard, just that I might learn something from someone who had experienced more if I listened first. I had to let people older than myself go first. I had to let people older than myself sit down first, I had to give them my seat if there were no more. I wasn't allowed to interrupt conversations.

I still have problems calling people much older than myself by their first names. Friends of my parents and in-laws will always be Mr. and Mrs. I owe them that respect for just living longer than me. Some of them I honor because I love them. People acting in authority get called sir and ma'am, because I respect the office, I don't honor them if their actions are wrong. I respect every ones right to their opinions, but I don't have to agree with them.

So here is what I teach my children. You call people by their title and their last name, if they insist you call them by their first name, put the title before the first name. Don't interrupt conversations between adults. If you need something or have something to add, put your hand on my arm and I will acknowledge you at a point that is not disruptive. If there is an older person in the room, be careful around them. Pay attention to what they say. If what they tell you goes against our rules, tell me and I will take care of it. People older than you go first. Respect other people by using your manners. We serve older people by asking "is there anything I can do for you". Do they always remember these rules, no! But it is something that we work on ALL the time. I think it is Biblical to respect your elders.